My Story
Letter from Jyotimami.
20-
Dear Hemant, Anju, girls,
Hemant! I am attempting to write a after quite some time, my handwriting has changed a lot, and I have kind of lost the habit of writing, but I will try, and what I manage, is what I manage, right!
Sumantlal was Arun’s friend, guide and philosopher. He taught us to enjoy nature, to cultivate an eye for birds, and thus, we learnt to enjoy life! And even as we mention him, there was always Bakaben ahead of him at all times. Her meticulous attitude in all work, never an iota of laziness, and skill at finding a solution in all situation is beyond description. She would drive Sumantlal and both Arun and me with a firm but delicate hand, and would not allow any detours, but motivated selflessly on to share her experience and lessons learnt. And we would diligently follow her; no option but to listen to her, when we always benefit from her actions so much!
Sumantlal was a straight forward person of simple needs, but many a great hobbies. One needed to enable those interests for sure, but he would correspondingly contribute in myriad other ways. He could match both quality and quantity of a woman’s work in the household. All it needed was a word from Bakaben, and he would be at it immediately happily and without protest. But that did not mean that he was meek! He did have some veto areas, and one had to submit to those matters. But both of them had a great understanding of each other’s ideas. Both would never look back when it came to helping someone else as well, whether it was just time and effort or the occasional financial input, they always helped. But perhaps the outstanding attribute of their nature was their versatility. Their interests ranged from trekking, hiking, playing contract bridge, classical music (Hindustani), swimming (Sumantlal – although both had a compulsive habit of getting into any stream or waterfall they came across! – Hemant’s note), and Bakaben was always the first participant!
In our life, Hemant! Till 1982,83 we did a trip or two in a year, and short trips to Matheran, Lonawala, Karnala a few times a year with them. Our children were very close to them. The girls too were initiated into nature and such hobbies by Sumantlal and Bakaben. Since they liked children, I was confident to take my toddlers with me on these trips, and they were so patient with the children. Bakaben would help a lot with the cooking and Sumantlal would keep the children busy in play. I doubt if we would have learnt to enjoy nature if not for the two of them. Carry required cooking equipment when we travel, how to manage daily chores of laundry and cleaning up while on the hoof.. all skills that I learnt from them. I had heard many people say that why cook when on vacation? We too are on holiday – eat whatever one could get in a hotel! But then the cost would escalate cutting short the vacation, or join a tour where one would see what the tour people wanted you to see! But we learnt to do 3 to 6 weeks vacations! Thanks to the two of them.
Let me lookup my diary and tell you about where all we went together. I think you may not have been with us because you were either in the IIT hostel, gone abroad or otherwise busy somewhere!
1967: We boarded Scindia’s ship “Sarasvati” Meera and 1 year old Tejal in tow, to visit Veraval, Sasan Gir, Somnath, Junagadh and Girnaar. Both Sumantlal and Bakaben would lead the climb, taking the girls along playfully, happily!
Meera was unwell, and would insist on being taken to Bakafoi’s place, where Bakaben would cook Meera’s favourite food, and with cajoling, and make a game of eating, they would feed her a full meal. Later in 1963, they joined us in Poona every weekend –(at Kikabhai sanatorium, which you too may recall. I do, but vaguely) when Arun joined me and Meera. The first guests in our newly setup home in A1 Apartments were also Sumantlal and Bakaben. I remember clearly, that they came immediately after returning from their visit with your Karnikkaka in Delhi, and we all sat down on the floor to have our dinner, because there was no furniture in the house as yet!
1970: I was due to deliver Dolly, and Arun went to pickup Bakaben at 2:30 a.m. She had returned just a few hours earlier at 11 or 11:30 p.m. from our larger family trip to Shreenathji, but we called and there she was! She was so close to us – (no one else, was.)
1973: Sumantlal introduced us to the Himalayas, and we went to Shimla, Baspa, Kalpa etc. together. We were in the train from Bombay, and suddenly, Dolly threw up quite a few times in an hour. She could not keep down even plain water. Came a station, and Sumantlal charged off, and some how cajoled, pleaded a station side vendor to sell him a few limes and some ice. We made a rehydrating lime juice drink from that, and fed it to Dolly a spoonful at a time, and fortunately, that stayed down! How resourceful of Sumantlal! Many go to Shimla and come back, but with Sumantlal we went into deep interior of the Himalayas and made friends with Himalayas.
1974: A large Tijoriwala family gang went to Tithal, particularly Harshadkaka’s whole family: Anil, Rupa, Renu, Manjeribhabhi in their car, plus (Sumantlal), Bakaben, Surabhibhabhi, Mahendrabhai, Sonal, Parag and we five. We had great fun on that 2 day trip. The mangoes on the trees at Valsad were hanging so low, that one could have plucked them by hand! Sumantlal setup a hammock for the kids and they had a rollicking time on it. On the first day itself, Harshadbhai’s car got lost that evening! It was pitch dark, not a soul in sight. All my children were in that car, and all parents in ours. We were about to go report to the Police, when we saw headlights in the distance, and we breathed a sigh of relief. Only Sumantlal and Bakaben were in that car with the kids, rest had got separated some how. The next day we feasted on mango ras (juice), double layered rotali, and dhokala for snacks. We always got true guidance from Sumantlal and Bakaben on all our trips, and we all followed what our monitor (Bakaben) told us! No contra opinions were tolerated.
That same year, (1974) we had gone to Karnala fort, and all of us climbed up to the fort including 4 year old Dolly – all because of Sumantlal and Bakaben’s encouragement.
That same year, we and Shashikantkaka, Kishori, Rajul, Tushar and Anjua accompanied Sumantlal and Bakaben to Matheran – walking up from Neral! We stayed at Maneklal Terrace. The children all learnt to climb up to Matheran from Neral!
1975: We went on a visit to the US, and the two of them came and stayed at our house, looking after the girls! So large hearted of them to do so.
Once in 1973, the same large group as at Tithal went to Karnala. We had decided to stay the night there, and carried all cooking stuff with us. I remember Manjeribhabhi was with us , but not who else had joined us. Unfortunately, we did not get the rest house at Karnala. We kept searching and finally found a private house whose owner; a kind soul – Mr. Putali – who let us spend the night on his veranda. We have had many such adventures.
1972: Arun had taken on a construction project for the Tata’s at Panchagani. Before the redevelopment started, we stayed in their old bungalow – Umrah Hall – with Bakaben, Sumantlal and toddler Dolly – 2 years! In spite of the facilities being thin at that bungalow, we all had a great time. Bakaben would adjust to any circumstance, and we too learn how to adapt from her example.
1982: A large Tijoriwala group was holed up in Scott Bungalow in Matheran – Anju and your little one were also with us. Mahendrabhai, Surabhibhabhi, Tushar, Anuja, us five, Manjerikaki etc. and many others: we were a large group!
Sumantlal and Bakaben had brought Anju along, so that she too would get a change (from your absence, in the US) and she enjoyed the company of all her cousin-
Hemant, I don’t recall much after that, but with Bakaben’s illness, and my girls – particularly Meera -
Next, I could not locate a single slide or photograph to illustrate the memories I have written about. We had given away all slides and the projector when we renovated the house. I could keep only 3 cupboards locked in the house during the renovation, so I had to dispose many books and so much more of my precious collection!
1968: We had been to Mr. Pavari’s bungalow at Khandala after the monsoon (Sep.-
1985 saw us accompanying Sumantlal, you Anju, and Janaki to fulfil Bakaben’s one unfulfilled desire – to go to Gaumukh! Sumantlal and Hemant wanted to do her last rites there at Gaumukh, and they convinced us to join them as well. Hemant addressed my concerns with “Mami, I am taking you there… have no fear or concern!” Meer and Sujata (Jagadishbhai’s niece, who had become great friends with Anju after our first hike together in 1979) had joined us. We stayed the night in Bhojbas (after starting from Gangotri) went to Gaumukh next morning, but back to Bhojbas by evening. I am susceptible to cold, and the altitude also affects me, but with Sumantlal and Hemant around, I was comfortable, and able to reach Gaumukh, touch the glacier, and come back! Sumantlal had become quite emotional at Gaumukh, but Hemant and Arun took great care of him till he recovered. Anju was like a clone of Bakaben. She had been trained so well, and her large hearted warmth enveloped all of us. We did visit Badrinath and Kedarnath after coming down from Gaumukh and Gangotri. Sumantlal had a great rapport with Meera and Sujju as well, and he would be like a child with Janaki, joyously playing, dancing, singing with her.
Arun would often recall Bakaben’s days at home (before her marriage) when he was still young. She would wakeup early, complete a whole stack of rotali for the household, and leave to deliver home tuition to some kids. Baa would have woken up at 4, done the pressure cooker and Bakaben would finish the rotali’s and be gone for their routines! Arun’s maasi’s would often stay at Baa’s place, and the pair of Bakaben and Muktamaasi would finish the cooking between them. Bakaben had been to Madras and completed a diploma with madam Montessori and continued teaching in the primary section of Modern School. She was of very progressive in her thinking for that age and time. Other sisters had all gotten married and gone off to their new families, so Bakaben looked after the needs of both the parents as well all four brothers. She was the boss of the house. Arun would say that his father (addressed in the family as “Bhai”) would often consult Bakaben, since all the sons were still studying. Only Bakaben could make Baa control her instinct to freely feed and host people, since she would spend too much, and Baa would always listen to her.
Hemant, Sumantlal and Bakaben managed their life very effectively within very limited resources, and lived a fulfilled life in their own style and way. No regrets! Who to think of a leading between the two of them was an impossible task. An example of their wonderful synchronicity was your old house (at 25 Wilson St.), which they gave to her cousin Ashvinbhai without taking a paisa from him. This was a zenith of their generosity. You folks were buying a new home, and needed to take a loan, but their reply was “I did not pay a paisa, so I will not take a paisa either!”. Both were in complete agreement, although a woman sometimes could pull in a different direction of fulfilling her wants and desires. But it was Bakaben, and she happily gave the house even though they could have got some money for it, if they had so desired.
Hemant, I have written this in the sequence I remembered events, so, it may not be in sequence. Please rearrange that suitably, and keep what you like and throw away the rest.
